A top ten list

The top ten stupid things I did in the Marines

10) Drove drunk in a foreign country (several occurences)
9) Told a drill instructor I wasn't ignorant not knowing that ignorant didn't mean dumb.
8) Rode my bicycle to a club in Okinawa then fell asleep on the sidewalk coming back.
7) Told a girl I missed her when I really just wanted to get laid.
6) Took acid on a beach in San Diego.
5) Lost the telephone number for a girl I met Tokyo.
4) Threw water-filled condoms from the tenth floor of a hotel in Mexico.
3) Forgot to bring the correct equipment in the field in Honduras (had to take notes in the cover of a paperback instead of the required notepad)
2) Used a flash on my point-and-shoot camera while hiding from infantry in Honduras. (The attackers saw the flash and closed in)
1) Let loose a nasty fart right before a Colonel approached our position. (The captain with us said to me, "McDonald, did you just shit all over the Colonel?" I may never have laughed so hard in my life. Thank god the Colonel was laughing also.)

On the Stoop

I live in an apartment complex with red brick buildings thrown haphazardly into a triangular plot of land. Viewed from above I can only imagine that our buildings must look like abandoned toy blocks.

While taking the garbage to the dumpster last night I saw that one of my neighbors was sitting on the front stoop having a beer while chatting with a guy from the building across the parking lot. Scott was having a beer and his visitor was having some orange-flavored alcohol drink that comes in a can. I spend too much time cooped up inside so I hung out with them for a few minutes and talked NASCAR and video games with the guys for a few minutes. I even ran back to my place and grabbed a beer so I could fit in better. It was kinda nice, it had a nice Brooklyn-in-the-1950's vibe too it. Scott and I even made plans to get drunk and watch the Bristol night race in August. Can't wait for that. After about half an hour I went back inside and hung out until Chris came by to play video golf.

Yee Doggy!

Today during my dinner break I moseyed over to Borders and bought the brand new book of poems by Jimmy Santiago Baca. Who not only is an awesome poet but has one of the coolest names ever. It's called "Winter Poems Along the Rio Grande." It's mine and you can't have it. Although I will read passages to you over the phone if you really want to experience it.

Road Trip

On Wednsday I took a trip to Durham with a friend of mine to visit Lee and to see the Decemberists at Cat's Cradle in Chapel Hill.

When I got my friend's house my car wouldn't start. It appeared to have a dead battery but when we tried to jump it all it did was turn over. We pushed it into a parking spot and, with the jumper cables disconnected, I tried to start it one more time. It started right up. We decided to take his car instead. He thinks I may have an electrical problem. My radio is connected directly to the battery and the radio has a short in it. I think that may be the problem. I haven't been playing the radio since I had the problem and I have had no problems at all since then. I think that may be the problem. More correctly, I hope that is what the problem was/is.

We arrived in Durham before Lee got off work. We decided to walk across the street and visit the Duke Museum of Art. It was closed for rennovation. Then we got caught in the rain after visiting a book store.

When Lee got home, I showered, Brigham and Lee had a few beers and we headed off to the club. 2/3 of the way there I realized I had forgotten Lee's and my tickets. Brigham wasn't able to print his Etix ticket at his home but he did write down the barcode number. I had to write down my name and email address and hand it too the stressed-out doorman. After a twenty minute wait we got in halfway through the second band's set. No problem, we weren't there to see them anyway.

The club was hot, hot, hot, hot. Way too fucking hot. It was unbelievable. I thought maybe I was just old and fat but after the first song the Decemberists' lead singer, Colin, commented on how hot it was. A few songs later he mentioned it again. Testify, I thought. Jesus, it was hot in there. Water didn't even help that much.

The Decemberists were a lot of fun. They were very playful and even played a new song they were working on. At one point every member that had an instrument he could lift tried to play behind their back. Even the accordion player attempted it. She didn't succeed but Colin did give her props for merely attempting the feat.

Their presentation reminded me a lot of the Flaming Lips in that it wasn'ta rock show but more of a get together or a party. The show had more of a 'let's have fun' vibe rather than a "I'm a rock star, dig what I do" thing. I like bands that present their music in that way.

Just in case James was wondering, yes, they did play The Tain. The whole thing. Man, that was cool. Also, an acoustic version of "Your Red Right Ankle" was very sweet. "Chimbley Sweep" was also a nice highlight.

Urge to kill...rising

Last night I was asleep around one-ish. I had set my alarm to wake me up around 9:30ish. The Hispanic lawn workers came roaring through about 8ish. Son of a bitch. I am going to Wal-Mart after work to buy a gun. The next time this happens I am going to kill somebody. I mean, do they need to run a leaf blower right outside my bedroom window at 8 am?

Comic convention

Today I went to the Heroes comic book convention at the Charlotte convention center. I hadn't been there for about ten years and it was a lot of fun. I got to finger some comics, check out some cool toys, buy a few comics, people watch and take pictures of Klingon chicks. Holy moly! Klingon chicks! That's half the reason I went. My day would have been empty if there hadn't been Klingon chicks, man.


I even bought a short four page adaption of Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky by my afternoon crush, Angi Shearstone. I tried to make small talk but ended up sounding like a dope. Ah well, she smiled once or twice.

I hadn't been to a convention of any kind in a while and I had forgotten how nice it is to mingle around with people who enjoy what you enjoy. Almost every single operator of a booth was as willing to talk to you as sell to you.

I was a little surprised by how many bootleg DVD's were for sale. I must say though that almost all of what was for sale were unavailable legitimately. There were no Lord of the Rings bootlegs for sale. No one there wanted a bootleg Lord of the Ring when the high quality official release was available. For example, I bought a Thundarr the Barbarian DVD only because I have been unable to find one anywhere else. You may say that I was thrilled to shell out too much dough for an inferior copy of a cartoon I hadn't seen in over ten years. It makes me wonder if people from companies that own the rights to this stuff attend conventions like these to see what people want. They'd be foolish not to.

Music, music, music

Last night Wendell and I went to the Evening Muse to see Deanna Lynn. First off, let me say that Wendell loves Deanna Lynn. It takes a pretty special musician to cause Wendell to walk away from a club with his hands in the air like he just hit a game-winning home run and that's what he was doing last night. The new kid from work, Melanie was there with her beau Jeremy. They had been wanting to check out the Evening Muse and I had talked up Deanna and they came out. They seemed to really dig Deanna and were impressed by the club. So that was cool.

Wendell and I hung out outside with M&J for a while and talked to whoever came moseying out. Every time I go to the Muse there are always nice and interesting people milling around outside between sets to converse with. Escpecially cute and charming was a young lady who sang backup on two songs with Deanna. She was really gassed that here pariticipation had gone so well. She was practically bubbling. She definately charmed Wendell.

We bugged our shortly after and went to the Comet Grill to see Lenny Federal. He was playing an acoustic set with his brother Michael. Wow, another special event. They don't play together that much and it's always fun to see them. They have been playing music together for so long and they can play just about any song since they are so familiar with each other. It's always a good night out when you get to see three of your favorite people sing and strum.

Reveille

Today...I consider myself...to have gotten up...way too early. For some ugodly, unholy, unhealthy and unnecessary reason I woke up at 5:30. A.M. Those of you that know me, particularly those that have worked with me, know that I am not a morning person. I am consistently arriving at work five minutes after I am scheduled to be there. That is just the way it is and it appears it ain't gonna change real soon. Today though, boom! It's 5:30 and I'm wide awake. At first I thought I just had to tinkle real bad. I did but when I returned to the sack, nothing. So I got up.

What does one do when you don't have to be at work for three and a half hours and the sun isn't up yet? Check email? Surf the net? Play xbox live and shoot some French guys? How about read? Yeah, I did all that. I have to say playing Rainbow Six online is a bigger jolt than a Mountain Dew or a cup of coffee. Nothing like a first-person shooter to wake your ass up.

Environment

"...nearly everyone is aware of dramatic changes in the world. Yet we continue to live in the assumption that we can ride out the changes without changing ourselves, coasting, as we have always coasted, on the historic wave of human development. What it will take to wake us up is a wave of equal size traveling in the opposite direction. That wave is already on its way."

Good thing we have a worthless president whose response to global warming is that we're just going to have to learn to live with it.

Ronald Raygun

I watched a great documentary on Ronald Reagan last night on PBS. It was over two hours long and was riveting. I remember thinking, too bad he didn't show as much passion for the have-nots in his own country as he did for those same people he considered oppressed by the bear.

I forget where it's at on the album but somewhere on the Woodstock album Reagan in called Ronald "Ray gun" by some hippy musician. When I first heard that I was in high school and Reagan was president. I couldn't help wonder but what did Reagan do as governor to tick them off?

I mention all this because I got to see Ronald Reagan give a speech once. It was during the first Gulf War. I had gotten out of the Marines in July of 1990 and they called me back right before Desert Shield transformed into Desert Storm. It turns out they called too many of us back and they didn't need us anyway since the forces over there were able to handle the war.

Early on in our stay at Camp Pendleton, CA (I believe this was shortly before the war went hot) we were informed that former president Ronald Reagan was coming to give us a short talk. They rounded up a few hundred of us and we took seats in a small outdoor training amphitheater that was part of a smaller base called Camp Margarita. We sat around for about a half hour and then he appeared at the back of the theater and moved to the small stage at the front. He gave a short morale-boosting speech using a cheap PA system with a couple of speakers scattered in front of him. I don't remember any of what he said but I did finally see what all the fuss was about. He held your attention and he was believable. He was the kind of person you would follow. I do remember how strange it was to see this guy in person. He became president when I was 12 and he was more image than man to me. To see that he actually existed was unsettling.

After his speech he was given a gift of a floppy desert camouflaged recon hat by a couple of Marines. Reagan put the hat on and we all cheered. Yeah, I did too, goddammit. It was Reagan, fer chrissakes. What I remember best is the giant beeming smile that appeared on his face. He seemed to be truly honored to be treated so by a bunch of young Marines and it was...touching. He then stepped down and exited toward the back. As he passed up the aisle he handed out business cards with his signature on it and guys were reaching out to touch him like he was Michael Jackson and they were twelve-year-old girls. I stood on my bench and marvelled as this man passed within six feet of me.

What I have always wondered was how did this happen? Was he going around to bases in California giving these morale-boosting speeches or was it a happy accident that he happen to be near Camp Pendleton on that day and he wanted to talk to "the boys?" Does anyone know?

How does one become a great politician?

You can have a paragraph of text that says absolutely nothing attributed to your name.