A top ten list

The top ten stupid things I did in the Marines

10) Drove drunk in a foreign country (several occurences)
9) Told a drill instructor I wasn't ignorant not knowing that ignorant didn't mean dumb.
8) Rode my bicycle to a club in Okinawa then fell asleep on the sidewalk coming back.
7) Told a girl I missed her when I really just wanted to get laid.
6) Took acid on a beach in San Diego.
5) Lost the telephone number for a girl I met Tokyo.
4) Threw water-filled condoms from the tenth floor of a hotel in Mexico.
3) Forgot to bring the correct equipment in the field in Honduras (had to take notes in the cover of a paperback instead of the required notepad)
2) Used a flash on my point-and-shoot camera while hiding from infantry in Honduras. (The attackers saw the flash and closed in)
1) Let loose a nasty fart right before a Colonel approached our position. (The captain with us said to me, "McDonald, did you just shit all over the Colonel?" I may never have laughed so hard in my life. Thank god the Colonel was laughing also.)