Move over Evil Antique Lady here comes Washington D.C. lady!

For the longest time the rudest and dumbest regular caller was a spawn of Satan we call Evil Antique Lady. The way she operated: she has an item, it may actually be collectible in some way, and she will convince herself that it is a prized piece and worth a shitload of money. What she actually does posses is a reading copy of a 1999 paperback Nancy Drew book.

Now, Washington D.C. lady is a diff'rent story. She calls with her TV blaring so loudly you can hear the Television better than you can hear her. She talks over the ends of your sentences and then gets frustrated when you ask her to repeat what she said. When she is calling for telephone numbers in D.C she will radically change the name of the person she wants you to find after you can't find the listing for first misspelling of the name. Here is an exchange I just had with her that will display clearly what we are dealing with:

Me: What is the name of the post office you are looking for.
WDCL: Cannon, it's cannon.
Me: Alrighty, is cannon the name of the branch or the street it is located on?
WDCL: Yes.

I'd cut off the tip of one of my pinkies to witness a conversation between her and Tom. He'd have a fucking stroke.