Timewarner cable is a rip off
Why why why do I have only two choices for cable television in Charlotte? As a sports fan I would like to be able to watch ESPN. Right now I have Basic Service which Timewarner offers at $9.38 a month. The only way these shysters will allow me to have access to ESPN in my home is if I purchase the Standard Cable Service which costs $47.25. I don't want Animal Planet, I'll never watch Oxygen and MTV hasn't shown a music video for ten years. How many of us are shelling out twenty plus extra dollars a month for cable channels they never watch just for a select two or three they consistantly watch? It's a rip off and after contacting TimeWarner more than once I can tell they are pleased as punch with the situation. Give us some choices. It's 2005 and if they aren't giving us more control of our cable choices it's because they don't want to, not because they can't.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Operation: Save the dipstick's ass
You know, Mr. Crappy-ass president, you wouldn't have had to spend the last few days looking like a hands-on in control leader if you had done your job in the first place and made sure the federal government was prepared to respond to an emergency. Jesus, you're a dick.
Look at me! Hey, over here! Look at me! I'm in charge and I'm doing a heck of a job. 9/11! 9/11! 9/11! Terror. Oooooh scary. Terrorism! Look out! Smoking gun...mushroom cloud! Strong country, resolute president. 9/11! 9/11! 9/11!
You know, Mr. Crappy-ass president, you wouldn't have had to spend the last few days looking like a hands-on in control leader if you had done your job in the first place and made sure the federal government was prepared to respond to an emergency. Jesus, you're a dick.
Look at me! Hey, over here! Look at me! I'm in charge and I'm doing a heck of a job. 9/11! 9/11! 9/11! Terror. Oooooh scary. Terrorism! Look out! Smoking gun...mushroom cloud! Strong country, resolute president. 9/11! 9/11! 9/11!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Didja know?
Ranked by: Number of employees.
Remarks: Also notes rank and figures for previous year, human resources officer, whether the officer oversees labor, and primary company business.
Number listed in source: 100
1. Wal-Mart Stores Inc., with 1,484,000 employees
2. McDonald's Corp., 413,000
3. United Parcel Service Inc. (UPS), 360,000
4. General Motors Corp., 350,000
5. Ford Motor Co., 335,000
6. The Home Depot Inc., 315,000
7. International Business Machines Corp. (IBM), 314,000
8. General Electric Co., 312,500
9. Target Corp., 305,000
10. Sears, Roebuck & Co., 300,000
Subject(s) Covered: Employees
Source Citation: "Largest Corporate Employers, 2004." Human Resource Executive, Top 100 (annual), April 2004, p. 34. Business Rankings Annual 2005. Thomson Gale, 2005.
Reproduced in Business and Company Resource Center. Farmington Hills, Mich.: Gale Group, June 2002.
Why, with all those employees, does it still take so long to get through a check out line at Wal-Mart?
Ranked by: Number of employees.
Remarks: Also notes rank and figures for previous year, human resources officer, whether the officer oversees labor, and primary company business.
Number listed in source: 100
1. Wal-Mart Stores Inc., with 1,484,000 employees
2. McDonald's Corp., 413,000
3. United Parcel Service Inc. (UPS), 360,000
4. General Motors Corp., 350,000
5. Ford Motor Co., 335,000
6. The Home Depot Inc., 315,000
7. International Business Machines Corp. (IBM), 314,000
8. General Electric Co., 312,500
9. Target Corp., 305,000
10. Sears, Roebuck & Co., 300,000
Subject(s) Covered: Employees
Source Citation: "Largest Corporate Employers, 2004." Human Resource Executive, Top 100 (annual), April 2004, p. 34. Business Rankings Annual 2005. Thomson Gale, 2005.
Reproduced in Business and Company Resource Center. Farmington Hills, Mich.: Gale Group, June 2002.
Why, with all those employees, does it still take so long to get through a check out line at Wal-Mart?
Friday, September 23, 2005
Candles, me like
Today I spent a couple of hours cleaning the apartment. I like to do that on my day off now and then. After scrubbing the toilet and the sink and doing dishes and locating and deoderizing the spot by the corner table one of my damn kitties has been rogue pissing I decided I needed a present. I went to Michael's over at Park Road Shopping Center and bought about twenty bucks worth of candles. The best part is that they were having a clearance sale on some nice thick scented ones. Since there had been this unpleasant odor permeating the apartment I also bought a scented oil burner. Mmmmm...scented oil. Now the apartment smells like various scented candles, spring sunshine rain forest oil and spring fresh Lysol and rug deoderizer. Sensory overload, to be sure, but at least not cat piss.
What is it with cats now and then that they decided they are going to piss in hard to reach corners of your home? I understand when it happens if you let the litter box go but I've been keeping up with the litter box recently. Rogue pissing, stupid things cats do.
Today I spent a couple of hours cleaning the apartment. I like to do that on my day off now and then. After scrubbing the toilet and the sink and doing dishes and locating and deoderizing the spot by the corner table one of my damn kitties has been rogue pissing I decided I needed a present. I went to Michael's over at Park Road Shopping Center and bought about twenty bucks worth of candles. The best part is that they were having a clearance sale on some nice thick scented ones. Since there had been this unpleasant odor permeating the apartment I also bought a scented oil burner. Mmmmm...scented oil. Now the apartment smells like various scented candles, spring sunshine rain forest oil and spring fresh Lysol and rug deoderizer. Sensory overload, to be sure, but at least not cat piss.
What is it with cats now and then that they decided they are going to piss in hard to reach corners of your home? I understand when it happens if you let the litter box go but I've been keeping up with the litter box recently. Rogue pissing, stupid things cats do.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Looking up his own butt
So our crappy president picks one of his employees to find out how he managed to botch the Katrina effort? Since she is part of the whole Katrina thing is there some way we, the tax payers, can somehow pay her less that the prevailing wage? That would save the country some money. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that this is coming from the same douche that didn't want to even have a 9/11 comission. That's the kind of leadership you get from people more concerned with politics than governing.
So our crappy president picks one of his employees to find out how he managed to botch the Katrina effort? Since she is part of the whole Katrina thing is there some way we, the tax payers, can somehow pay her less that the prevailing wage? That would save the country some money. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that this is coming from the same douche that didn't want to even have a 9/11 comission. That's the kind of leadership you get from people more concerned with politics than governing.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Son of a bitch
It seems like I just got over a cold not that long ago. Last night as I lay in bed trying to sleep the sniffles turned into a full fledged head cold. I must have fell asleep about 4 am. The pisser is I had to work at nine. That didn't happen. I felt bad bailing on a Saturday but at least there were two other people working. If it had been the shift where their was one other person I would have made it in about a half hour late and been worthless and miserable all day so I guess it's good it happened this weekend. Again tonight, I'm up. I tried to sleep a while ago. Didn't work.
Last night I went to see the Aristocrats with a friend. I loved it. No, not because it was foul but because it was a great look at the minds of comedians. In case you don't know the movie is a documentary about a joke that has been in circulation among comedians for a long time. It's a joke about a man who goes to a talent scout describing a vaudevile-style family act. The goal of the joke teller is to improvise an act that is as creatively foul as possible. The name of the act is the punchine of the joke and the name of the film.
I guess it's pretty obvious that a joke like the Aristocrats that has a wide open middle with a mediocre punchline would allow each comedian to put a personal stamp on it. But to see this in action and to listen to people like George Carlin talk about the nature of making people laugh was a great experience. My favorite telling of the joke was by Tommy Smothers. He tells the joke to Dick Smothers who was unfamiliar with it yet played his straight man role to perfection. The interplay between those two is astounding.
One comedian mentioned hearing it first from Bill Hicks. I'd like to have heard Bill's version of that joke.
One observation: some versions of the joke were disgusting yet hilarious (Carlin, Gottgried, Stephen Wright). A couple were just plain disgusting with little humor. (Bob Saget). Carlin made me wince and laugh. Saget just made me wince.
It seems like I just got over a cold not that long ago. Last night as I lay in bed trying to sleep the sniffles turned into a full fledged head cold. I must have fell asleep about 4 am. The pisser is I had to work at nine. That didn't happen. I felt bad bailing on a Saturday but at least there were two other people working. If it had been the shift where their was one other person I would have made it in about a half hour late and been worthless and miserable all day so I guess it's good it happened this weekend. Again tonight, I'm up. I tried to sleep a while ago. Didn't work.
Last night I went to see the Aristocrats with a friend. I loved it. No, not because it was foul but because it was a great look at the minds of comedians. In case you don't know the movie is a documentary about a joke that has been in circulation among comedians for a long time. It's a joke about a man who goes to a talent scout describing a vaudevile-style family act. The goal of the joke teller is to improvise an act that is as creatively foul as possible. The name of the act is the punchine of the joke and the name of the film.
I guess it's pretty obvious that a joke like the Aristocrats that has a wide open middle with a mediocre punchline would allow each comedian to put a personal stamp on it. But to see this in action and to listen to people like George Carlin talk about the nature of making people laugh was a great experience. My favorite telling of the joke was by Tommy Smothers. He tells the joke to Dick Smothers who was unfamiliar with it yet played his straight man role to perfection. The interplay between those two is astounding.
One comedian mentioned hearing it first from Bill Hicks. I'd like to have heard Bill's version of that joke.
One observation: some versions of the joke were disgusting yet hilarious (Carlin, Gottgried, Stephen Wright). A couple were just plain disgusting with little humor. (Bob Saget). Carlin made me wince and laugh. Saget just made me wince.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Tongue flap
Yesterday at lunch while eating a salad I self served at Harris Teeter I bit the shit out of my tongue. We've all bitten our tongues and it hurts. Usually it just hurts like hell for a while, you suffer through it and then go on with your day. Not me. I bit my tongue so bad that a piece of it hung there like a fleshy flap and my mouth bled all evening. I was afraid that eventually I would get an upset stomach because I was swallowing blood all night and instead of spitting blood I would end up puking blood which is gross no matter what the cause. I showed William the fleshy hanging flap on my tongue and he called it gnarly. Eveyone else I showed it too was merely grossed out. Today at work I cleared a work area by showing my deformed tongue. I think it's healing because I was able to eat a few potato chips and I didn't experience any pain. I can still rub my tongue over my top teeth and it feels like my tongue has a hatch like a submarine or like the plastic top of a gallon milk jug that is connected by a thin hinge of plastic.
The big issue with the tongue injury is whether or not I should take a picture of it and share it with the world here on the blog. William says yes and I am leaning toward maybe. I'm really not sure. On one hand it would be cool because it would be gross. On the other hand it wouldn't be so cool because it'll be gross (not the wound but the tongue in general. A tongue is kinda gross unless it's licking your privates). I'm not asking for feedback since hardly any of you bastards leaves feedback anyway except when Chris pretends to be a 47 year old Hispanic beisbol player. This is an inner dialogue typed out for your enjoyment.
Yesterday at lunch while eating a salad I self served at Harris Teeter I bit the shit out of my tongue. We've all bitten our tongues and it hurts. Usually it just hurts like hell for a while, you suffer through it and then go on with your day. Not me. I bit my tongue so bad that a piece of it hung there like a fleshy flap and my mouth bled all evening. I was afraid that eventually I would get an upset stomach because I was swallowing blood all night and instead of spitting blood I would end up puking blood which is gross no matter what the cause. I showed William the fleshy hanging flap on my tongue and he called it gnarly. Eveyone else I showed it too was merely grossed out. Today at work I cleared a work area by showing my deformed tongue. I think it's healing because I was able to eat a few potato chips and I didn't experience any pain. I can still rub my tongue over my top teeth and it feels like my tongue has a hatch like a submarine or like the plastic top of a gallon milk jug that is connected by a thin hinge of plastic.
The big issue with the tongue injury is whether or not I should take a picture of it and share it with the world here on the blog. William says yes and I am leaning toward maybe. I'm really not sure. On one hand it would be cool because it would be gross. On the other hand it wouldn't be so cool because it'll be gross (not the wound but the tongue in general. A tongue is kinda gross unless it's licking your privates). I'm not asking for feedback since hardly any of you bastards leaves feedback anyway except when Chris pretends to be a 47 year old Hispanic beisbol player. This is an inner dialogue typed out for your enjoyment.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Monday, September 12, 2005
What was life like before the internet?
I don't know what this simulates. Perpetual motion? Free fall? Nothing? Before I linked to this site I never thought I would ever have to type this next sentence: If she gets stuck, click and drag.
I don't know what this simulates. Perpetual motion? Free fall? Nothing? Before I linked to this site I never thought I would ever have to type this next sentence: If she gets stuck, click and drag.
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