Top Ten

Top ten reasons I ain't got a cell phone

10) Dental equipment has better reception.
9) I prefer to walk around wearing an earpiece and talk to myself.
8) Still pissed I couldn't afford one when only drug dealers had them.
7) Those yelling fat ladies on the bus.
6) Brain cancer.
5) Designer Covers. Jesus.
4) I already have a digital camera...and a telephone.
3) Everyone else fucking has one.
2) If there's an emergency I can borrow yours.
1) I prefer alcohol for impairing my driving.