My new hobby

What's the last sport you think I might try and play? You got it, golf. I bought a set of clubs the other day and went to a driving range with my friend, Chris B (not the same Chris who is usually called the big loud guy). This last Sunday we played ten holes of golf. We had to quit because of the fading light. Today I went to a driving range and tried to get that damn slice out of my swing. Nothing is more frustrating than hitting the ball well having it turn left like turn one at the Charlotte Motor Speedway.

I didn't invest in the clubs lightly. I have been playing for over a year now a game on my Xbox called Links. It's a golf simulator. That's right, it's not a game, it's a simulator. After having the game for a while and really enjoying it and being coached while playing over the internet with Chris I found myself watching chunks of televised golf and understanding what was going on which was scary. Recently I started contemplating buying a driver and going to a driving range. I mentioned this to a salesman at Dicks Sporting Goods and he said, "shit, if you piecemeal a set together you'll end up spending a fortune. You'd be better off buying a set of clubs." I liked the cut of his jib, so I did. My clubs are cheap, they are a starter set which I reckon I'll have to add to if my interest holds.

George Carlin called golf "boring and arrogant" but I'll just call it hard as a motherfucker. You might think it's easy to hit a ball that's just sitting there and make it go where you'd like, but you'd be wrong. Your margin for error is zero. If you don't hit it perfect it's in the trees or the creek or it might just bounce ten yards in front of you and then you swear, a lot. But...but...but..but if you hit it right and it goes where you want it to then it feels real good. It almost feels good in your pants. Almost.

The clubs set me back a bit and I need to get better because golf balls aren't cheap and I can't afford to keep hitting them into the woods. I've been getting fat and lazy recently and maybe they'll help me get outside more.