Q: How do you know she's lying? A: Her mouth is moving.

First thing this morning at work a lady with bad B.O. came up to the reference desk and, while pretending to almost cry, informed us that her apartment burned down last night. Ok, that was lie number one.

My co-worker expressed sympathy. Her second whopper was that she was doing a school project and need biographical information, tour dates and pictures of...Keith Sweat which we provided. We hoped if we gave her enough information quickly she would, you know, go away.

She was such an obvious homeless bullshitter that you had to admire her audacity. She knew that we knew that she was lying but she was probably familiar with how a public library functions and was confident that we wouldn't call her on her bullshit. It's shysters like her that actually created this great country.