Headlines you would see if I was editor

San Antionio celebrates NBA title, rest of country celebrates end of NBA season

Israel and Hamas pledge to continue killing as many of the other as possible

Japanese representatives fight movements to save whales because their economy depends on whaling.

At the forefront of technology: AOL introduces spam filtering

Iranian protesters called "heroes of democracy," WTO protesters still pinko commie fucks

Inoperative missile defense system hailed as deterrent