The funniest things I heard in Marine Corps bootcamp

10) Who woulda thought a weird fuck like you could shoot so goddamn good?
9) Left! Right! Left! Fucking Right! You get it!?!?! On 'left' you put your left foot down! On 'right' you put your fuckin' right foot down! Do you fucking get it? (He didn't)
8) Holy fucking shit! That's just beautiful! That's just goddamn beautiful!
7) Oh, scratching your ear? Way to go, Guide. (The guide was the head recruit. Ours was a dumb-ass dickhead from Texas)
6) When you pass our office you have your backs to us. We don't want to see your nasty fucking faces.
5) Stop, do it again.
4) I'll fuckin' kick your ass, boy. You don't fuckin' think I can. You just fuckin' try me.
3) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Who the fuck whistled?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? (it was me and, boy, did I pay for it)
2) "This fucking shit not that fucking hard, now is it?" "No, sir!!" "Fuckin' A, it's not."
1) Holy screaming eagle shit!!