End it all now

If your job includes using phrases such as "new level of corporate partnership" go home tonight and blow your brains out. You've wasted your life and there is no need to go on.

Soon words in our dictionaries will be have a corporate sponsorship. I can see it now, if MSWord continues to be the inferior word processor of choice the will soon start selling the rights to companies to words printed by their program. Here's how your next paper will turn out:

After 1872 (presented by Johnny Walker Red) the (Presented by Ford, The name in motorsports!) Patwerbon Indians were forced (presented by Mike Johnson, Attorney; A Force of Law) beyond the borders (Borders Books and Music) of the Ohio (Come visit Ohio, it's flat and full of corn!) River (Riverboat Gambling! It's keeping Iowa out of the shitter!) where they were ravaged by the pox.