Crossing over with me

Ok, I saw about thirty seconds of the appearance on Larry King by that fucking asshole, John Edward. Thirty seconds of complete bullshit is my limit, man. I have decided to offer a service to you, the lovely and talented readers of this blog. The following pieces of dialogue will allow you to communicate with your deceased loved ones. Please answer truthfully or this will not work and you could summon evil spirits that may take you to hell or someplace worse like Oceanside, CA.

Have you lost someone close to you recently? If yes then click here.

If the answer is no then has someone close to you lost someone close to them? If the answer is yes then click here. If the answer to this question is no then go read a goddamn book or something and leave me alone.